Timid Scrotum

Unbelievable crate digging find of the New Year! Thanks to Scope in Bexhill-On-Sea, I shockingly unearthed a near mythical copy of Timid Scrotum’s album Suffragette-Defaced Pennies. Sadly not in the best condition, the cover is ‘acceptable’ at the least, but the vinyl is still surprisingly playable. Originally to be called Suffragette-defaced Penises, their record label Pankhurst got cold feet at the last minute, fearing a copy-cat spree of defaced penises in the clubs and bars of England. According to research Timid Scrotum, or ‘The Scroates’ to their small fan base, only ever released one record, and Suffragette-defaced Pennies is it. Long on serious psyche collectors secret wish lists I actually didn’t believe in its existence until I found this copy. The release date of 1968 seems to ring true with what little is known about this album and from initial listens it seems to be a concept album, possibly predating SF Sorrow’s claim to being the first concept album of its genre.

The album is structured as a song cycle, telling the story of the main character, Dame Ethel Smyth, from birth through love, war, tragedy, toothbrush madness, and the disillusionment of old age. Although the album is a rock opera, I have subsequently discovered, that it has been stated by members of The Pretty Things that the record had no major influence on their writing of SF Sorrow. This of course is probably true due to there only ever being twenty five copies ever pressed, and it seems unlikely The Pretties, ever heard the album.

In such a male dominated industry, the subject matter of Suffragette-Defaced Pennies, was surprisingly brave – one of the main songs deals with Smyth leaning out of her prison cell window and using her toothbrush to conduct her co-suffragettes in singing a song during their exercises. Even the album opener, ‘Ethel Is Born! Praise The Midwife’, was a rare thing in a world of things that were made, commissioned and owned by men. Even in ’68, upon the birth of a child, the father’s choice of cigar was celebrated more than the mother’s concerted efforts.

Power is usually not willingly given, but forcefully taken and the main suite of songs on side two deal with this, especially pertinent in the lyric dealing with female assertiveness in the songs, ‘Ethel Paints a Racehorse 50 Shades of Grey,’ and ‘Posters, Pamphlets, Rallies and Cloth-Eared Bastards’. The record, although mainly Popsike and Rock Opera in tradition, does contain some freakishly experimental sections too. ‘Balding, Bearded and Defaced’ definitely exudes distorted guitar bliss way ahead of its time and in ‘Powerfully Crude Defacement Hammer’, we have abstract noise melts which sum up lupine noise howls and multiverse primal squeals.

A stunning album which surely demands a repress from Pankhurst, if only so more music fans can hear ‘Elephant Must Fury’ and ‘Ankles Casting Shadows’, two of this magnificent record’s highlights.

Alphabetical Miscellaneous Genre-core 2013

Anodine Dutch Tin Trance

Break-Beat Scumble Reggaeton

Cadaveric Chamber of Parasitic Shuffle Bop

Deeply Acidic Skiffle Punk

Elephantine Riff Mosh

Funky Self-Righteous Handbag Jazz

Gamelan Yoghurt Pot Soul

Hokus Pocus Voodoo Shit

Independent Frequency Toe Tech

Juggernaut Inflected Grime Metal

Kentish Bilberry Juice Nipple Folk

Languid Easy Listening Grindcore

Marillion

Nordic Armpit Nu-Rave

Orgiastic Catholic Trip-Hop

Popular Romantic Drill ‘N’ Bass

Quashed Digital Anti-Social Opera

Rainbow Coloured Quirk Bruk Pop

Satanic Pube-Core

Terrestrial Cock Bashment

Underground Filth Granny Pop

Venereal Smaxploitation

Wittering Scurrying Self-harm Mash

XTC Jungle Wink Wank Woo

Yemeni Digital Hardcore Sphincter Clop

Zod Zod Splunk Pish

A Glossary of Essential Musical Styles 2012

 

 

 

Pop. Indie. Rock. Electronica. Soul. Do these words mean anything anymore? Switch on the internet and you could be mistaken for thinking that genres have blurred into one big blue memey. But dig deeper and you’ll find that there are more than ever. As we reach the end of the year, here, in my humble opinion are the essential musical movements of 2012.

APUS OCTANS

Chameleon ooze wave made by pagan Slovakians in Tatra caves. Eastern European cybercriminal hackers will bolt terrifying chameleon ooze onto your hard drive from their hermetically sealed abodes above Teri Meri Kahaani and Martin. Pugilistic Meciar bastards.

STIFF ZOMBIE MOCK

Proving that it is possible to be wonderfully eclectic without being namby-pamby the prime movers of the scene, Stinging Nettle, Crow Snot and Lenient Noose, trip out over Stomach Cramp beats and Shopping centre synths with cadaveric aplomb.

GARGOYLE

Smelted in the UK by Crog, Anal Nipple and See Shark Kick Shark, Gargoyle is the sickly bastard brother of Nu-metal and Doom. Gargoyle does roughly what Candlemass did, except slower, heavier and with the addition of facial gurning and morbid tics.

URBAN SLAG STAG

Contemporary nu-wave of old wave’s new wave. They’re not really waving, they’re beating each other up in the lap dancing clubs of Gdansk. Music to watch girls by or Music to buy girls with a watch.

WIMPY

Not to be confused with the burger chain and Popeye’s mate, although admittedly it is quite confusing due to all the participants of the scene frequenting said burger bars like modern day denizens of the Korova Milk Bar, minus the milk, bowler hats and ultra-violence. Basically a bunch of wimpy kids in boiler suits discussing Solomon Eccle’s minty chalice.

JAW DROP

An orgy of clammy voices and malodorous beats declare this sturdy response to post-dubstep open for business. Uniting such disparate talents as DJ Mezzotint, Gibbet and Gash Phlapp, the genre buckles under its own weight unhindered by talent and unchecked of ego.

VILLAGE SIMPLETON

Less a collective of bands, more a collective mindset. Tends to describe a group of village dwelling hipsters who gather in the local pub, pump the jukebox full of coins and sing along to The Killers records like they were sub-Meat Loaf tracks and Ocean Colour Scene Unplugged. Attempted Moustache derigeur.

NAIL FACE

Nail Face is a term recently coined by Blackpool’s Laughing Policeman to describe that feeling created when passing obscure 80s Fleetwood post-punk bands through the warped Pleasure Beach haunted house Moog of righteousness.

MAQUILLAGE

Bands named after the bynames of late Medieval Burgundy dukes seems quite an isolated movement but like other micro-scenes – Vintage Fanny, Babycham Deer, and Turkish Bamboo – it has its devotees. A convenient appellation for the thrillingly chivalrous bands that make Circulus sound like Gangnam Big Bang.

SLAG PUCK

The flicker of fascination with musical cultures from around the world add an exotic flavour to the Slag Puck movement, Marble Faun and Lillian Gish both scour the internet for ‘exotic’ sounds from their bedsits in Berkshire. A MIA for the anti-X Factor generation terrorists.

FACE EROSION

A self-defined movement of post-hardcore bands with a heavy anti-melodic emphasis, Anthisan, Ventriloquist’s Cock, Butt Gum and Snivel, all hark back to the 80s hardcore scene before it became all about Henry Rollin’s Smeg fridge and book signings.

COARSE GRIND

Esoteric subset of Leeds ghetto house that evolved into Wallpaper, lately popularised by Klutz Rev’s Stifler and Fluffy comps and the Coarse Grind leanings of mythological producers Temple of Bacchus. Comes accompanied by its own dance style, essentially a sleazy 70s Dr Hook misogynistic hump against the Artex Monkey’s wallpaper.

SQUALID PLANK

Prow, Dead-Eyes, Knobbed Rope, Tarbrush and Horse-Bait, all currently boasting the Squalid Plank sound, essentially post-punk skeleton crews with maritime leanings. Seminal gathering at Camber Sands ‘The Plague Sail Weekender’ is now logged into the annual bleak-mid winter festival circuit.

GAWP HOUSE

House lifers sneer at this obsessive 4x4 affectation, but to the converted nothing beats standing on a dancefloor and staring at the elevated DJ whilst not dancing, notebook in hand and iRod in eye.

VAN KUR

Takes its name from that posho wonky glitch dubstep DJ Toby Van Kur. Nocturnal dubby Aquacrunk music forms the soundtrack to many Fresher’s Fairs, Welcome Powerpoints and night-bus rides home after Coldplay gigs.

SODDEN BASS

‘A brutal disembowelling of Drum and Bass, drowned in a vat of reverb, techno and whump and then poisoned with a throbbing gristle doner’, was how one meme cat described this Bass soaked movement on Pitchfork.

MOROCCAN LATECOMER

Simple arithmetic, you do the math! Moroccan bands who are late to the Witch House fad. Combines eerie found sounds from Mogador Kasbah floors, faceless beats, a smattering of existential ‘oOoOoOos ‘, and smart reference points to Bogarting joints in Casablanca speakeasies.     

PRANGSTEP

Dissolution, Clithero Orifice and Penny Dreadful may have been prodding their fetid mugwump of a flag into music’s backside for years but now a new generation of orc punks are ready to take up the mantelpiece of dub-step with punkish flourishes.

NICKI’S MINGE

Derulo, Pixie, Florence, Lily, Kelly, Sadie, and Queen’s of Noize all swear by it.

Ceyote @ Tubman

Stewart Lee

 

White card stencil. Stanley blade hand cut out and placed over black card.
Frame 54cmx44cm signed and dated.

One single piece of card hand cut with a Stanley Knife, laid onto wooden floorboards to demonstrate
the stencil technique. Image is produced from the same piece of card. Image then mounted onto black card. Signed and dated.
 

 

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