Essential Summer Records

Saigon Fruit Bucket – 'Mackerel Flobbing.'
The corpse of Acid Jazz is given a good seeing to with this cardiopulmonary clamp of a tune. Think JTQ crossed with Extreme Noise Terror whilst on a kibbutz in Toxteth and you’re nearly there.

 Brainwash – 'Dog Food.'
Henry Rollins’ new band Brainwash captivate hearts and minds with this mellow even anodyne account of the struggle an everyman artist has to deal with when suffering for his art. ‘Giving up (dog) food for punk’, goes the chorus which will be bellowed out by social misfits with no girlfriends everywhere.

 Rufus and Imran Khan – 'Urinated Leather Keks.'
Tribute to Jim Morrison’s penchant for ‘ladies of the night’ and their greedy wiley ways. ‘Oi, Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light because you were only supposed to blow the Bloody Doors Off!’

 Sum Hook – 'Mickey Rouke’s Drift.'  Essential listening if you’ve ever considered entering your dog into Crufts. Slum Hook sing of the dangers Mickey Rourke faced when his poodle, Mr  Pumpkin won ‘best in show’ but was later kidnapped by the Gay Mafia. They broke into his apartment one evening, smashed his Vybz Cartel and Elephant Man records, and rearranged his lounge before kidnapping poor Mr Pumpkin.

 Mollusc in Silicone – 'Couple of Tits.'
Bootleg mash-up of Peter Andre’s ‘Insania’ and Brian McFadden’s ‘Real to Me’.

 Duran Duran – 'Live at Dudley National Express Coach Station.'
Simple, and as passé as Ugg boots.

 Scrimmage  – 'Honningsvag.'
Metaphorical trendsetting bruk-step with rawlplug Mongolian lamb bleats and flim-flam corn law future funk .

 Radio Bingo – 'Anti-chord.'
 A slimline surreal psychodrama-cum-road movie – cum- air vibration speaker membrane. Come-off it!

 Underwire – 'The Blaspheming Shaman of Skalagroft EP.'
 Just a sample from a Pat Metheny tune and the Shaman of Skalagroft spitting his tourettes flavoured rhymes over the mic. Favourites include, ‘Mary Queen of Scots Lost Her Head, the Twat’ and ‘Jehan Fouquet, 15th Century Painter and Pig Fu**er’.

Mr Fingers and Thumbs – 'A Rollerskating Jam Named Pan Pipes.'
Last year Mr Fingers and Thumbs was on everyone’s lips. Now he’s in everyone’s gloves, pockets and medieval implements of torture. All proceeds go to the Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal.

 Cant – 'Narwich Shite.'
 Indie jangler in tribute to Play Away and Deliah respectively