Mutant Balearic Vol 1.

MUTANT BALEARIC Volume 1. Shameless Bootleg Collection (similar to 'The Balearic Sound of.'.) of some very rare tunes cobbled together by some wealthy baseball cap wearing hipster twat who hangs around 'Balearic' parties with an iPhone constantly on Shazam. A few know of his identity, but it would be churlish of me to reveal it here. Needless to say, he went to Cambridge, got a first in Economics and wouldn't know a decent tune if it hit him on his inbred chopping block of a head, were it not for the tireless DJs and music obsessives who unearth this type of stuff in the first place for this robbing cock to boot and reap the ill-gotten rewards.

Side A:

Chico Career – ‘It’s Bird Flu Time (Los Salinas Beach Bar Edit).’ Pop-infused paean to forgotten tabloid scare stories. The rare follow-up to his cover version of Izzit and Dizzit’s ‘Foot and Mouth’.

Ms Dynamite, Sean Paul, Roll Mop Herring Deep and Twista – ‘Water Get No Enema (Sunset over Palma Beatless Mix)’. Charity collective raising awareness for ‘Bowel Cleansing Week’. It’s some next level shit man. Witness the shitness.

Nils Loftgreen – ‘Roots Manoeuvre (Baldelli 4am paella mix)’. The diminutive bandana wearing clod-hopping rock Umpa lumpa’s latest tune, inspired by the tree surgeons of Ghent and Hydroponic secrecy.

The Protagonists - ‘Turin Shroud Brakes’ With a nod to Ibiza Rock Pools, Welsh electro-gash five-piece delicately rip through a song dedicated to the cog stopping holy cloth of Italy.

 The Balearic Sound of Nerina Lorry Pallet – ‘My Space Declined Kumquats (Café Del Mar Sunset over the hordes edit)  ’ Impish Balearic wobble pop from the daughter of the landlord of the Jolly Butcher’s Testicles, Hove.

Side B:

The Spanish Proclaimers – ‘Them X Factor Coonts Are Biting Oor Style’. Leith-spawned Celtic shouty pop from the brothers Ben King Carlos and Wayne.

 Herbie Hancock’s Half Hour – ‘Zoot, Sqoit, Plink, Whizz, Burble and Sploosh’. Onomatopoeic-cosmic jazz fest from the housewives favourite.

Transsexual Bob – ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman (Miss Selfridges Ku Mix)’ Canadian based cross-dressing perv murders (in a good way) the Shania Twain MOR stompathon.

 Julius Cesaro and Mariano Faithfulo with FPI Projecto  – ‘Futbol, Basketbol and Volleybol’(Amnesia ’88 Edit). Balearo-Jazz dance classic gets the edit treatment for the ASBO 88 EMO SENCO generation.

 Captain Hook – ‘Clap Your Hands, Say…..OW!’ (Jose Padilla Space Pirate mix) Booty breaks, hybrid squelch and sleazy skiffle grime from this Hoxton septet.