Best Tunes of the Year So Far

Best tunes of the year so far.............

1. Outrageous Yurt – ‘Best Friends on Twatter ‘

Blurring the difference between an illusory image of a friend and the presence of that friend themself, Outrageous Yurt loom like sentinels of ‘the poke’ sometimes forbidding sometimes strangely inviting but always insecure. Lead singer, Clog Pathos utilises playful conceptual intervention with the chanted chorus, ‘Clog is doing the dishes’,’Clog is sleeping’, ‘Clog is thinking of his best friends on Twatter whilst being on Twatter’and ‘Clog needs to get out much much more’.

2. Weird Chimmney Sweep – ‘They’re Building A New Facebook Internment Camp’

The androgynous cutsiness of Weird Chimmney Sweep’s lead singer, Kunstsammlungen Kunt, with his swollen head and button nose and constantly startled gaze is saved from faux-mo sapien’s saccharin sentimentality by a balancing tendency towards an almost punkish provocation. Like label mates, Outrageous Yurt, ‘The Sweep’ set up a delusional fantasy world where people actually talk to each other.

3. Putrid Black Sponge – ‘WWWdotBullock.Parimutuel Tote Bag’

Bought this mainly for the free limited edition Posdnuos Buckaroo game. Hanging a plastic rucksack or a banjo in the shape of a daisy onto the rotund rapper’s back without making him ‘buck’ is what the Jips was made for.

4. Kwashior v Morpungo – ‘Gig Guide Tick Box Twat’

After hearing this I wanted to immediately go on line and look for a trip hop night.

5. The Baleen Plates – ‘Krill Bill’

Igneous rock on Crude Oil Records with a sprinkling of Exothermic Funk a smattering of Metamorphic Grunge and a healthy dollop of Techtonic Skiffle. Large.

6. Hemp Poncho – ‘Fell In Love At Thrapston Gravel Pit’

Japanned Dustpan step which has had me bamboozled for months. Yasser Arafat never wore a capped T-Shirt with a faux bison print on it with his scarf, so why do you?

7. Advanced Mange – ‘Gok Wan Is An Anagram’

Hissing with spite and 1920’s depression chic the ‘Mange’ prove why they’re still the scenester’s scenesters on the scene. Weasle and Vole population in Finland not affected.

8. Missive Attack – ‘Chirpy Chirpy Tweet Tweet’

Like being pulled apart by Housewives whilst haunted by H from Steps. Wilful Nu Jazz squalor

9. Timid Scrotum – ‘On Your Hateful Pete Doherty Waistcoat (A Plague).

Whiney little runt, MC Snarge, drops science and lays into Libertine-esque smack chic like Kakuta poaches eggs. Not Guilty Simpson, Your Honour.

10. Cashmere Sceptre – ‘P Diddy Cruise Liner Aneurysm’

Remember music isn’t just something you shop for kids, it’s a refreshment to be dispensed nasally. Promo Junket = MoFo Junky. Beezelbub cotton bud.

11. Orobator – ‘Rejecting The Frottage’

A modern dubstep reliquary of Funk within the White Cube Gallery wrapped up in a hessian sheet of semi-self-righteousness whilst someone listens to Sting’s Lute album on Joggle.

12. Dashboard Confessional – ‘The Sinister Death Cult of Emo Hair Straighteners’

Jaded Post-Bruk forum nerds listen up! Dashboard Confessional bring a sulk-fest to end all sulk-fests.

13. The Nylon Cagoules – ‘Wittenoom’

‘Shout going out to all the patients on The Rolf Harris Wittenoom Lung Ward!’ shouts MC Phoreski(n) unconvincingly. DJ Mitsubeeesheee continues with his ‘Sun-Ra-Rasputin lover of the Russian’s bean’ in a g-spotski type of a way. (Can be viewed on Flicker).